Kiss New Year’s Resolutions Goodbye; Say Hello to New Year, New Theme

Written By: Ashley Grob, LCSW 

2023 is right around the corner and now is the time we start hearing about resolutions and goals for the upcoming New Year.  Is it just me or does this often add a lot of pressure to our already very busy lives?  I will admit, I have failed my resolutions time and time again, and I would bet you have too.  And that is okay, because the goals and resolutions we often set are too unrealistic.  We need to think about our expectations vs. reality when setting goals this holiday season and here is how.  

First, let’s break down the common goals we hear about.  The big ones that come to mind are often health, increase in hobbies and leisure activities, and financial goals.  We then take this a step further and set hard limits.  Instead of our goal being about overall health, we focus on weight loss.  Then instead of general weight loss we set smaller goals such as “I will lose 35 pounds by summer”.  This is where the trouble starts.  Now, don’t get me wrong, this may be a fine goal for you, this may actually be obtainable for you.  However, we know time and time again we “fail” these goals quickly and by February everyone is joking about how their New Year’s resolution is already not working. 

Setting goals is difficult, and this is simply because our day to day lives do not stop or slow down.  Our expectations need to match our reality.  It may be unrealistic to go to the gym 4 times a week, or read 4 nights a week, or save $40.00 a week on top of your established routines.  So how do we make these goals more manageable?  Instead of a New Year’s resolution (ie. strict goal), think bigger.  Whatever your goal is, it most likely has an overarching theme.  This is where we can be more successful in our goals.  Focus on a bigger goal instead of smaller.  

Here is how this would look: my theme for the New Year is health.  This would include all facets of health: emotional and physical.  Maybe I didn’t hit the gym 4x a week but on Monday I increased my water intake, Tuesday I went to bed early, Wednesday I listened to my favorite podcast, Thursday I cooked at home and Friday I vented to my supports.  This would be a very successful week towards the theme of health.  This could easily be applied to financial goals or hobbies/leisure activities.  

By setting a theme and thinking bigger we have more chances of success and broaden our range of activities that contribute to that success.  Our goals need to be obtainable in order for them to be achievable.  So what is your New Year’s theme?  Still struggling with not setting hard limits?  Are you finding yourself punishing yourself for failed attempts?  A therapist at Feeling and Healing can help break these negative patterns and become more successful in achieving your goals.  Reach out to one of our therapists today to get started.  Happy New Year!