Reframe Your Self-Talk

Written by: Ashley Grob, LCSW

Self-talk is what we tell ourselves internally.  Often we believe what we tell ourselves, even if it is untrue.  Negative self-talk can be damaging to our self-esteem, confidence, and overall perspective of ourselves and lives.  One of the ways we can combat negative self-talk is to reframe any unhelpful thoughts.  Although we may not be able to stop the initial thought that occurred, we can correct it.  This is what we would call a reframe.  We are seeing what is happening, recognizing it is negative and turning it into a positive.  

Here are some examples of reframing:

Negative Self-Talk:  “I hate the way I look in this shirt.”

Reframe: “I like the color of this shirt.  It compliments my _____ well.”

Negative Self-Talk: “I wish I was a better parent.”

Reframe: “I am doing my best to provide for my child.”

Negative Self-Talk:  “I messed up at work, my coworkers must think I’m inadequate.”

Reframe: “I worked really hard on that report, I was nervous and mistakes happened.  I can correct this.”

Negative Self-Talk: “My friends never contact me, they must not want to be friends anymore.”

Reframe: “I am busy too.  I can call ______ and see how they are doing.”

Negative Self-Talk: “I am a failure.”

Reframe: “I did not fail when I accomplished ________.  It is okay to struggle, I am still learning.” 

If we just read the negative comments and believe them, it is easy to see how this would deteriorate our self-esteem and confidence.  Lowered self-esteem can lead to further mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.  If you are struggling with negative self-talk, low self-esteem and confidence, therapy can be a wonderful tool to help you.  Our therapists at Feeling and Healing are trained to work with individuals who need help building more positive skills to combat these thoughts and feelings.  Reach out to us today to begin reframing your self-talk.